I just threw up on my dentist
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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