Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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