So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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