i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
