just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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