you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize