pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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