Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize