I just threw up on my dentist
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
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When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
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His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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