I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
