Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize