No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
