Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
my vag is so smooth its legendary
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize