I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
