Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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