Have you finally orgasmed yet?
she woke up with a sticky ear
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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