trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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