I bet he comes in French.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize