she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
