Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
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So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
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We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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