and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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