I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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