one word: firstdatebathroomanal
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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