So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize