foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
