the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
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He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
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Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.