Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again