Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
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He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
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I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"