the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.