remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?