Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.