I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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