ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
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It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
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He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore