Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms