the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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