Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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