I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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