The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Are we still banned from the library?
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.