I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
