I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
