Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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