How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
In other news, I just burned my penis
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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