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• (678): View more from Georgia

  xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life

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• (310): View more from California

  My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra

  Fav 62 10037 1434

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• (905): View more from Toronto

  the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.

  Fav 30 1447 4382

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.

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  29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you

  Fav 35 9684 2189

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.

  Fav 19 3576 1652

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• (925): View more from California

  After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome

  Fav 10 4286 1588

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• (408): View more from California

  I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year

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• (760): View more from California

  I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.

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  21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.

  (775): View more from Nevada

  You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink

  Fav 0 826 470

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.

  Fav 0 385 122

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card

  Fav 1 22 65

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.

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