There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
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I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
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I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years