my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
