you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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