her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
He did a backflip because drugs
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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