At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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