Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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