Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.