This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.