I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.