Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
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he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on