k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
