Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
