I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
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His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
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being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
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