fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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