Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
