If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha