do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
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I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
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I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.