She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.