All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
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I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
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They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.