he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I just blew my weed a kiss
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
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